You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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