I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
