you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
