Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
