every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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