You really coming over, don't trick.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
