How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
