We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
