is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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