my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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