How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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