Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
