Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
