Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
