We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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