i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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