ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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