your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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