I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
