Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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