im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize