I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
