my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
