After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
