I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
