My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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