Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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