Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
