brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
