If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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