Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
