you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
