don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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