she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
