i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
