Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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