You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
