this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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