I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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