does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
