bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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