Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize