you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
