So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
