Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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