So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
