we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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