So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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