Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
