There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
