Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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