my sisters under your porch take her home
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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