My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I only lived at night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize