She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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