I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
