the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
