didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
