Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
