My room smells like vodka and shame
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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