I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
